TUESDAY

Today could Have practically been gift wrapped from Satan himself--Not being dramatic..Really! It was that bad. Reminding myself though my weakness is made perfect in his STRENGTH.

Today was one of the those ongoing conversations with God, I'm talking probably every 3 minutes. He laid so much on my heart that I am going to share with you. I've said a lot in the recent months that God is at war with Satan every day for our lives, our souls, our salvation. I saw this today. Today, I lost someone to suicide. It Breaks my heart to know that people are really hurting so much that they end their life. I was in my car on the way home from work having another conversation with the Lord. I was just weeping, feeling like God has given me a bad taste for the things of this world. I felt so strongly him saying, "Everyday I'm fighting for you. The Holy Spirit is interceding for you. My children are so concerned and worried about materialistic things in their lives while others are broken, hurting, and fighting for life.

I'm reminded of when I went on our youth group choirs tours to minister and sing to people all around. We used to do service projects with a organization called Teen Challenge. Teen Challenge is an organization that reaches out to Youth, Children and adults, providing them with faith based solution to drug, alcohol, and other addictions. I go back to when we would sing at these places. It's so amazing to see these Men that have so much praise and adoration for the Lord, yet in the world's view, they have nothing. In Jesus, they have everything. God, make me like that. Make my heart like that. Make me in such awe of you.

Another big thing the Lord and I talked about was TRUST! Oh I struggle with this one a lot mainly due to past relationships. If I didn't trust my friends, what kind of friendship would we have? If I didn't trust my mentor, what kind of accountability would I truly have? If I didn't trust my husband, what kind of marriage would we have? Trust is such a vital foundation for any kind of relationship. When someone has ever displayed the slightest bit of doubt in me, I know it's been upsetting. I think the same is for Jesus.

I could imagine him saying something like...
"So I died on the cross to save your life, I sacrificed myself for you and you don't think I can ______________. (Insert issue here) Provide for your finances, you don't think I have amazing plans for your life, you don't think I have an amazing person for you, a great job, and the list goes on and on."

But realizing yes that God wants to stretch us and teach us a lesson in the process. And more than likely, I guarantee it wont happen in our timing.

If I don't trust that the one who died on the cross has it figured out, then what kind of relationship will we have with the Lord? And how will that pour into our earthly relationships? How will our walk ever deepen? How will we grow and ride past the so typical talked about Lukewarm Christian-go through the motions life?

This is such basic but such huge stuff I believe God wants us to grasp now to lay the foundation to have an amazing relationship with God. The amazing relationship that God intended for us to have with him and he so desires to have that with us more than I can even explain to you. Our relationship with God should be pouring out into our earthly relationships with our friends, family.

Everyday I find myself re-surrendering to Jesus. I need him more and more than I did the day before. I know he has called me to be set apart and I so desire to be used by god, to have a strong, growing relationship with him, to have Jesus shine through me, to show Jesus' love to others, to speak into Broken lives, to bring Glory to the one true God who is healing me from the inside out. Learning to let Jesus be my everything everyday is not easy. Serving the Lord is hard. Very Hard. Yet there is strength in the struggle and I find myself in a season of refinement, a season where I want more and more of Jesus everyday. I know that our present suffering's don't even compare to the Glory that will be revealed in and through us.

I am proud to admit that at the end of my day, through everything Satan tried to throw at me, at the end of the day I was still standing with Jesus' arms wrapped around me.