I will blog, I will blog, I will blog.

This is for some reason a challenge for me to get on here and write somedays
but im really challenging myself to be more consistent with it.
this week was sooooo long. I started my new job on Monday which is going so
good. It's just a ton to learn but its good and I know God has blessed me with some
awesome opportunities and I've already met some believers and that's really
awesome.

Monday, I felt really really super convicted about something in my life and I
had to make a really hard decision. It was hard cause I knew it would hurt
someone I cared about. When god calls, you listen. I've tried it the other way
and trust me the outcome is not pretty. This conviction was so strong, it made
me sick to my stomach and I couldn't think straight all day. It's like one of those
things where you know its the right decision but a hard one to do. But I knew God
would be with me and I went for it.

So yes, it was difficult but God was faithful and gave me peace. I honestly pray
that the type of conviction I had with that specific situation would be the same conviction
that I have for all things. We pray that our heart would hurt for the things
that hurt jesus and honestly I think my physical pain of conviction is just a mere
image of how it truly hurts our savior.

Its amazing though that in that moment and throughout this week I knew the only way
to get through these things was to truly depend on Jesus.

At some point, we have to face what isn't working and turn to the one person
everyday who makes everything work. Im at all new heights at this chapter in my life
and its really really exciting. :)

Happy Birthday!

Today is my 24th birthday and it only seemed fitting that I reflect on the past year. A year ago today, I started a very new journey in my life. A very sweet friend of mine spoke great words of encouragement over my life and it inspired me to go forth and live the life that God had destined for me.

Below are the exact words she spoke to me and I often look over them every week to remind me that when life seems tough and impossible that I have a destiny and reason to love and have Joy and hope.

Happy Birthday to an amazing woman! Roxanne, I pray that God would richly bless you this next year and reveal Himself to you in a new way! May you grow in Him and never forget how much He loves you and wants nothing but the best for you. Don't grow weary in waiting for life's events, but let your strength be renewed in waiting for HIM!!! XOXO

I am celebrating my bday with this sweet friend of mine on Monday and look forward to seeing that new picture I know she will take :) hehe

God definitely revealed himself in a new way to me this past year. I learned the hard way that a life without Jesus is no life worth living. I have grown an incredible amount. There were some rough times this past year and there were some great times. But I got through them with Jesus by my side. I'm a different woman now. I'm confident, finding my value In Jesus alone and not searching for approval from other people or things. I have Joy even in negative situation. I know when the time is right, God will bless me with the right person. I start this new year off now with clear direction from God, a new great job, going back to school soon and loving just being with Jesus. I am genuinely blessed.

Some big things/Changes that I underwent this year were
* I quit the drinking/club scene
* Got out a career field I hated-Thank you Jesus.
* Spent time with my biological father for the first time in 10 years
* Stopped having sex

Reflection is so great. To look back and see the real depths of how far I have come.
To continue the journey, nothing more fitting that recommitting my life to Jesus on my birthday! Here's to another great year. Can't wait to see whats in store!

Milestone

Today was a really big milestone for me. I saw my biological dad today for the first time in over 10 years. I had so many nerves and emotions running through me thinking what it would be like.

It was just about perfect. I walked up and he repeated to me over and over how grown up and beautiful I am. How proud of me he was, for the woman I have grown into.

Makes me think, Don't you think Jesus is trying to tell me the same thing.

We chatted, laughed, and reminisced about the old good times. Talked about the future, my goals, and where I see myself. I shined and he smiled at me with the look of joy across his face! This was really huge for me. Not only to feel that love from my biological Dad but to realize Jesus looks at me the same.

Had a great night at church really tuning into Jesus and what he wanted to speak into my life tonight. I've really made my walk with Jesus as of recent a burden and into a HAVE TO.

This week my goal or desire is to make Jesus my priority because I WANT TO. To make it my joy.

BTW, God has seriously blessed me over what I could imagine. Im starting a really new great job next week. I know he taking care of me. And for the first time in possibly a really long time or maybe my whole life, I can say that I am so happy with just being Jesus and not having a man in my life other than him. It's a great way to start my birthday week. A year ago this thursday, a dear friend of mine made me a cake and spoke very encouraging words into my life and has been mentoring me. It's amazing to look back and see all the changes I have made. :)