This week has been pretty amazing. I celebrated my 23rd birthday on Wednesday! On Tuesday, my ladies bible study table had some scone desserts for me and it was very special for me. It has truly been a blessed time. It's the first time in a long time I have felt so much love on one day. Birthday's are funny sometimes! I think it's a good time to reflect on the past year and think about the next year in front of you. I recall old dreams and make new ones. I discovered new passions, desires, and visions for my life. I recently started a mentorship program with a very inspirational influential Godly woman who I very much admire everyday. When you have led a sinful life to the extreme that I have, when you have walked down a cold, dark, and lonely road--it's very comforting to have accountability and encouragement in your life. I recently made a decision to stop living on the fence but to completely live my life for Jesus now. When one makes a decision like that it is awesome to be surrounded by incredible people who love you and want the best for you. It's one of my greatest blessings. I pray I can be that for someone someday.

I have been partaking in a bible study going in depth through that book of Esther. It really has been amazing. I'm learning so much about myself and God and what he wants to do in my life. I think it's truly breath taking when we become so AWARE of how real God is and his power in our lives. I have many dreams, hopes, and desires. I know it will be exciting to look back a year from now and on these blog entries to see where the Lord has brought me. God is so merciful and grace giving. Everyday I feel overwhelmed with gratefulness for God saving my life. I choose to surrender my life to Jesus Christ. A life without him is not worth living.(which I learned the hard way). I choose to be on his side. Im reminded of a great worship song we sang on tour one year
Father I see that you are drawing a line in the sand
And I want to be standing on your side, holding your hand
Let your kingdom come, let it live in me
This is prayer, this is my plea

These past couple weeks I have learned to accept that If I perish, I perish
If the very worst scenario I could conjure up in my head were to come true, then I'll always have my Jesus. Jesus who is my father, my lover, my healer, my provider, my best friend, my listener, my life giver and so much more. I continue to pray that Jesus would take all that is ME and take it away and replace it with him. I want to shine as his daughter! Oh how sweet is the Love he has for us!!

I went to Barnes and Noble today and bought a book called Crazy Love! I am excited to start reading it. I also picked up a couple new Journals. Im starting to become an avid journaler/blogger! One of the journals is a person journal and the other one is a new project. Quite some time ago I really felt pressed upon my heart to start a journal type thing that I hope to give to my future husband someday. It's a book that will be full of love letters to him and other letters to him on a daily basis. I am not a virgin for quite some time now but I want to be able to give my future husband something from my heart--letters and daily entries. I have sooo much love for my husband, whoever and wherever he is. I want to save myself from here on out for him, to preserve myself and my love for him. I am looking forward to this project and seeing it through!

I must get ready for work now!