I love candid pictures! I look so happy! :)


A little Ice challenge Brett and I had going! OOoh..it was so cold!






WOW!

So to start this off today, I posted some pictures on the side of my blog. Patti took these of me while I was helping her prepare dinner! She is such an amazing blessing to me! I am so thankful for her! It's amazing for me to look at these pictures and be able to feel like I am looking at someone who is glowing with the love of Jesus! Praise Jesus for the transformations he is making in my life! It's even better when others say you look like you are radiating the Lord in those pictures! What a blessing to me!

Wednesdays are by far my favorite day of the week. I get to spend time with my mentor. Talk about how i'm growing, what the Lord is doing in my life, what i'm struggling with and so on. I also get to watch her daughter while she at work and it's an awesome fun filled day. When she gets home we make dinner and it's so much fun! Another highlight of my day is being able to skype with grammy(Sue-Patti's mom). Sue has also been a constant person in my life who is always encouraging me!

I really feel like there has been so much change in my life as of recent and the Lord is teaching me so much. Today while I was at the gym, I was reading another chapter in this book CRAZY LOVE! It was so convicting for me. A lot of the chapter talks about how things in our life such as money, hobbies, stress, etc consume us so much that we don't spend as much time with Jesus as he wants us to and we make excuses. This is definitely something i'm working on. I trying to watch less TV and spend more time with Jesus. He just wants to hang out with us! How cool is that? I know I don't want to blow him off or make him think that all these other things are way more important than him. Not to say that it's bad to have hobbies and such but I think it's important that Jesus be the MOST important thing in our lives. We never ever regret spending time with the LORD! Never!!

In the word it says, the road is narrow and few will find it! I want to be on that road and I want to stay on that narrow road with Jesus. I think of it as if I were married and I blew off hanging out with my husband for other things how rude would that be? Jesus is my among many things my lover and best friend. I don't want to belittle him or make him feel like he doesnt matter! So i'm working on spending more time with Jesus! He is the most important thing!

Your tender mercies come with every rising sun
You see the sinner in his brokenness

My hope is in the Lord
From this time on and Forevermore
Oh, my hope is in the Lord

Oh my chains,
I can't disengage,
I don't believe that I want to,
one hand sings your praise, the other brings me shame,
I have selfishness to blame...

And I'm singing for freedom,
I know I'm not the only one praying to the one,
who can bring me this freedom,
I'm ready for change, change, change, change...

Looking down I lay,
I keep holding my chains,
no longer bound but here I stay,
I scream father please,
I need rescuing,
I need and you alone..

And I'm singing for freedom,
I know I'm not the only one praying to the one,
who can bring me this freedom,
I'm ready for, I'm ready for...

Still you patiently await yet I won't just let go,
I see you and you alone,
say come follow me cause there is ???? you can't see ???

So I'm singing for freedom,
So I'm singing for freedom...
The time has come-separation lost the war to love,
take my hand, grace is found-yeah-where your words begin,
you're alive, you're alive,
in the waking of new life,
take my hand, in the end there's only love...

(ooooo) there's only love (oooo)

there's only singing for freedom,
i know i'm not the only one praying to the one,
who can bring me this freedom,
i'm ready for, i'm ready for-
father please, i need rescuing, i need you and you alone...

Every Wednesday I go over to my mentor's house and spend some time with her and then watch her daughter while she goes to work. When she arrives back home I stay for dinner and hang out. It's a truly blessed time that I am so thankful to have.

On the way to her house this morning, these lyrics were playing on air one. Tears began to roll down the sides of my eyes. I turned it up louder to feel even more emotion. We all have needed rescuing at some point and by golly JESUS rescued me from something horrible, from a life of destruction. I wake up everyday with a huge and sometimes overwhelming sense of gratefulness and humbleness.

Today in my Esther bible study, towards the end it talks about grace. Beth says, "Jesus came for people just like us. All saved by grace. Freed by grace. Oh, for grace to love him more!" I think it's so important to realize and know that Jesus doesn't need us or have to love us but he chooses to. He chooses to need us, love us, and bestow amazing amounts of grace upon us and I don't know about others but I want to always receive that.

Beth mentions how imprisoned we can become about our unwillingness to tell the truth about ourselves. To just be honest and authentic. "I'm not talking about making shocking confessions that make us feel better and devastate someone else. I'm talking about simply being truthful about where we've come from...and where we hope we're going." (Beth Moore)

WOW right! what an inspirational thought. This is one big step that I have taken in the recent weeks. To be honest about where i've come from, to not be ashamed but to revel in the fact of where God sought me out of to reverse my destiny!

What an amazing thing to know that God sought me out and change my life and my destiny. What an amazing feeling to fall in love for Jesus for real and to feel the no limit boundaries of his love. When I feel sad in some moments because I don't have an earthly MAN in my life, I remember that no man will be able to be for me what Jesus can be for me, what he can do for me. I have to be content and in love with him before I could ever expect to make something work with a man here on earth!

How incredible is the Lord's love for us!!

So Im Singing for freedom

I know I'm not the only one praying to the one who can bring me freedom

Freedom reigns in this heart O God!

Well it's been a busy couple of days here! I feel as if the Lord is changing me everyday and at times that can be very painful and exhausting. But I'm going to keep pressing on. Today I found myself over analyzing everything. It's cool when your in that situation and you can recognize right away because you have learned the triggers of these feelings--thank you Esther bible Study!

I'm really trying to lose weight and be healthier. Not such an easy task when your grew up with a chef for a dad! :) he he

I like to look at my week like what do I feel God is teaching me? Although this week just started, I think this week is a very "wait on me" lesson. I started reading this book called "Crazy Love". It's a super fascinating book. It opens your eyes to the extremity of God's love for us. The last chapter I read was about being lukewarm. I think it can be a touchy subject because not many people like to admit they are being lukewarm in their walk with the Lord. I know I have a hard time with it in the past. But I think it's important. I felt like with some of the examples in the book I related to and some I didnt. I'm praying that I wouldn't be lukewarm but Jump after Jesus.

Something cool is happening at my work. I been talking with a co-worker of mine and she is Mormon. She has been asking lots of questions lately about my faith. She asked if she could come to church on Sunday with me and of course I said yes! I hope she still wants to come to church on Sunday.

Sorry for my scattered thoughts! I must get to bed. A long day tomorrow! Cant wait to hang out with sweet Emersyn!

Today I have simple thoughts. I wrote in my journal t0 my future husband last night.

At church this morning, worship was incredible. It's so incredible to just bask in the presence of the Lord! How fulfilling, peace giving, and restful it is.

All I can simply say today is
YOU ARE HOLY!
HOLY HOLY HOLY
IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!

I have a good busy week ahead with work, ladies bible study, time with the Lord, and hanging out with my favorite little girl, Emersyn!

Well Today seemed to be fairly nice outside! Woo hoo for beautiful sunshine days! Being a waitress, I enjoy alone time very much! Being around people all the time, in fact a lot of the time at work it's drunk people, I almost feel the need to detox when i'm away from work. It's a crazy feeling when I am at work dealing with these people. I think back on my destructive life I lived of drinking and partying and am so thankful that's not my life anymore.

In doing my bible study today I learned some important things. I think when you realize the selfishness and pride in others such as HAMAN, it's a bit easier to recognize those area's in your life where you notice triggers that would cause you to act the same way. Doing this study has helped me so much to realize and be very aware of when you feel yourself acting out in selfishness, pride, and other destructive traits. Being aware of this is the first step to allowing God to come in and take even more control over my life. Change is oh so sweet!

I just want to say how faithful God is! I have been really stressed as of recent because of some changes at work. I was stressed about finances but God has really been providing. Praise Jesus!

I don't have much on my list to do today! I work tonight! I'm hoping I don't get off too late since church is in the morning.

I really do love my job. I am a huge people person however I am pursuing some school options this week and cannot wait to see where It will take me! Waitressing is a hard job where you can constantly feel like you have to be plastic.

Thank goodness my life is changed and Jesus is GREAT!

This week has been pretty amazing. I celebrated my 23rd birthday on Wednesday! On Tuesday, my ladies bible study table had some scone desserts for me and it was very special for me. It has truly been a blessed time. It's the first time in a long time I have felt so much love on one day. Birthday's are funny sometimes! I think it's a good time to reflect on the past year and think about the next year in front of you. I recall old dreams and make new ones. I discovered new passions, desires, and visions for my life. I recently started a mentorship program with a very inspirational influential Godly woman who I very much admire everyday. When you have led a sinful life to the extreme that I have, when you have walked down a cold, dark, and lonely road--it's very comforting to have accountability and encouragement in your life. I recently made a decision to stop living on the fence but to completely live my life for Jesus now. When one makes a decision like that it is awesome to be surrounded by incredible people who love you and want the best for you. It's one of my greatest blessings. I pray I can be that for someone someday.

I have been partaking in a bible study going in depth through that book of Esther. It really has been amazing. I'm learning so much about myself and God and what he wants to do in my life. I think it's truly breath taking when we become so AWARE of how real God is and his power in our lives. I have many dreams, hopes, and desires. I know it will be exciting to look back a year from now and on these blog entries to see where the Lord has brought me. God is so merciful and grace giving. Everyday I feel overwhelmed with gratefulness for God saving my life. I choose to surrender my life to Jesus Christ. A life without him is not worth living.(which I learned the hard way). I choose to be on his side. Im reminded of a great worship song we sang on tour one year
Father I see that you are drawing a line in the sand
And I want to be standing on your side, holding your hand
Let your kingdom come, let it live in me
This is prayer, this is my plea

These past couple weeks I have learned to accept that If I perish, I perish
If the very worst scenario I could conjure up in my head were to come true, then I'll always have my Jesus. Jesus who is my father, my lover, my healer, my provider, my best friend, my listener, my life giver and so much more. I continue to pray that Jesus would take all that is ME and take it away and replace it with him. I want to shine as his daughter! Oh how sweet is the Love he has for us!!

I went to Barnes and Noble today and bought a book called Crazy Love! I am excited to start reading it. I also picked up a couple new Journals. Im starting to become an avid journaler/blogger! One of the journals is a person journal and the other one is a new project. Quite some time ago I really felt pressed upon my heart to start a journal type thing that I hope to give to my future husband someday. It's a book that will be full of love letters to him and other letters to him on a daily basis. I am not a virgin for quite some time now but I want to be able to give my future husband something from my heart--letters and daily entries. I have sooo much love for my husband, whoever and wherever he is. I want to save myself from here on out for him, to preserve myself and my love for him. I am looking forward to this project and seeing it through!

I must get ready for work now!

Well I am farely new at this blogging idea but I think it will good! The name of my blog is Amore Dolce which means sweet love in Italian. Its special to me because I feel like sweet love is what the Lord is giving me.

Today was a pretty good day. I slept in late because I worked a double shift yesterday on 2 hours of sleep. I started my birthday week today with a pedicure at the Spa! My birthday is on Wednesday and I'm already feeling the Love! It's an awesome feeling for what's been a really tough year.

I have bible study in the morning which I always look forward to. My heart has been feeling very conflicted lately but I'm really enjoying learning and growing in this bible study.

I find it so interesting that growing up we list and commentate on other people's lives and say that we would never do that but we end up doing that. I'm so happy for God's grace and mercy and love. I don't want to dwell on the past but move forward in God's grace. Everyday I'm working on being that Woman of God that lives within God's will. I have so many dreams, hopes, and vision's that I know I need to surrender to God and he will take care of me.

I suppose I will go to bed now. It's late. I will write more tomorrow