I will blog, I will blog, I will blog.

This is for some reason a challenge for me to get on here and write somedays
but im really challenging myself to be more consistent with it.
this week was sooooo long. I started my new job on Monday which is going so
good. It's just a ton to learn but its good and I know God has blessed me with some
awesome opportunities and I've already met some believers and that's really
awesome.

Monday, I felt really really super convicted about something in my life and I
had to make a really hard decision. It was hard cause I knew it would hurt
someone I cared about. When god calls, you listen. I've tried it the other way
and trust me the outcome is not pretty. This conviction was so strong, it made
me sick to my stomach and I couldn't think straight all day. It's like one of those
things where you know its the right decision but a hard one to do. But I knew God
would be with me and I went for it.

So yes, it was difficult but God was faithful and gave me peace. I honestly pray
that the type of conviction I had with that specific situation would be the same conviction
that I have for all things. We pray that our heart would hurt for the things
that hurt jesus and honestly I think my physical pain of conviction is just a mere
image of how it truly hurts our savior.

Its amazing though that in that moment and throughout this week I knew the only way
to get through these things was to truly depend on Jesus.

At some point, we have to face what isn't working and turn to the one person
everyday who makes everything work. Im at all new heights at this chapter in my life
and its really really exciting. :)

Happy Birthday!

Today is my 24th birthday and it only seemed fitting that I reflect on the past year. A year ago today, I started a very new journey in my life. A very sweet friend of mine spoke great words of encouragement over my life and it inspired me to go forth and live the life that God had destined for me.

Below are the exact words she spoke to me and I often look over them every week to remind me that when life seems tough and impossible that I have a destiny and reason to love and have Joy and hope.

Happy Birthday to an amazing woman! Roxanne, I pray that God would richly bless you this next year and reveal Himself to you in a new way! May you grow in Him and never forget how much He loves you and wants nothing but the best for you. Don't grow weary in waiting for life's events, but let your strength be renewed in waiting for HIM!!! XOXO

I am celebrating my bday with this sweet friend of mine on Monday and look forward to seeing that new picture I know she will take :) hehe

God definitely revealed himself in a new way to me this past year. I learned the hard way that a life without Jesus is no life worth living. I have grown an incredible amount. There were some rough times this past year and there were some great times. But I got through them with Jesus by my side. I'm a different woman now. I'm confident, finding my value In Jesus alone and not searching for approval from other people or things. I have Joy even in negative situation. I know when the time is right, God will bless me with the right person. I start this new year off now with clear direction from God, a new great job, going back to school soon and loving just being with Jesus. I am genuinely blessed.

Some big things/Changes that I underwent this year were
* I quit the drinking/club scene
* Got out a career field I hated-Thank you Jesus.
* Spent time with my biological father for the first time in 10 years
* Stopped having sex

Reflection is so great. To look back and see the real depths of how far I have come.
To continue the journey, nothing more fitting that recommitting my life to Jesus on my birthday! Here's to another great year. Can't wait to see whats in store!

Milestone

Today was a really big milestone for me. I saw my biological dad today for the first time in over 10 years. I had so many nerves and emotions running through me thinking what it would be like.

It was just about perfect. I walked up and he repeated to me over and over how grown up and beautiful I am. How proud of me he was, for the woman I have grown into.

Makes me think, Don't you think Jesus is trying to tell me the same thing.

We chatted, laughed, and reminisced about the old good times. Talked about the future, my goals, and where I see myself. I shined and he smiled at me with the look of joy across his face! This was really huge for me. Not only to feel that love from my biological Dad but to realize Jesus looks at me the same.

Had a great night at church really tuning into Jesus and what he wanted to speak into my life tonight. I've really made my walk with Jesus as of recent a burden and into a HAVE TO.

This week my goal or desire is to make Jesus my priority because I WANT TO. To make it my joy.

BTW, God has seriously blessed me over what I could imagine. Im starting a really new great job next week. I know he taking care of me. And for the first time in possibly a really long time or maybe my whole life, I can say that I am so happy with just being Jesus and not having a man in my life other than him. It's a great way to start my birthday week. A year ago this thursday, a dear friend of mine made me a cake and spoke very encouraging words into my life and has been mentoring me. It's amazing to look back and see all the changes I have made. :)

Provision

This past week has been such a chaotic, busy time of recovering, dealing with insurance companies, car shopping, car buying and the list goes on.

I finally had time to just sit and reflect on this past week's events that took place. Yesterday morning, my insurance company emailed me pictures of my car that had been totalled. I have to say I was overwhelmed with emotion looking at them and flashing back to the accident and almost reliving everything that happened. It's amazing to me to look at these pics and see that I am alive and besides some back work that can be fixed, I am so lucky.

I fully realized to a new depth just how much Jesus loves me. His provision over my life this past month has been incredible just from providng me with a new job to saving my life and it continues on with the whole process from the accident to getting a great deal on my car to be paid off and another great deal on a new car. Im just in awe and it makes me that much more want to just honor him with my life for what he has done for me. It's so great going to bed with such peace, knowing God is taking care of me.

Well It's been a couple full months for me! God is so faithful in so many ways and I continue to see that on a daily basis. Some of you know I have been searching and looking and praying and begging Jesus for a new Job. I applied for a job again that I had already interviewed for 6 months ago and I was weary to do it again but a friend of mine works there and she referred me and it worked out great....I got the job! YAY!! I have wanted this for so long and God heard my prayers and pleading. I think its easy to think when we want something so bad and we don't get it, it's easy to feel like Where are you God! But he definitely showed up and surprised the socks off of me. It was interesting too cause I started working PT for a Spa. I gave my two weeks at the cafe and I am so excited. My boss however wasn't but that's fine. Cut my losses and walk away. :) So I've been working the cafe and the Spa and it's been crazy but I am saving money and it feels good. School will start for me again in the Winter and I am super excited.

Last night, I was in a pretty bad car accident. It was my fault and its really embarassing for me to even admit that. My car is completely totalled. My whole front end was smashed in. I am seriously lucky to have walked away with minimal injuries. I completely thank God for that. If you look at my car and then look at me I am blessed. I have been showered with love from friends and family and I am so thankful for that. Its been a crazy day full of being on the phone all day with my insurance company but the details are slowly start to move together and Im looking for a new car. It's kinda funny to me. Last year at this time if this were to happen, I would most likely freak out and panic. But I was a different person then. I have been really calm and miraculously have such a peace that God going to take care of me and work it all out.

I am really excited for the doors God is opening for me. I love him and want to honor him for what he has done for me.

:)

Praise Jesus!

Happy Sunday

Well, I am sure glad that no matter what happens in life, I am constantly assured that my Joy is in the Lord and nothing else. It has been some interesting few weeks around here.

Due to some events that shall nameless and a bunch of drama, God closed a door for me that I am so thankful for. I'm moving. I have definitely been overwhelmed by all the details and situations with my current roommates but I am glad to say things are finally coming to end with them and I should be moving the first week in September into own place! YES! So worth the money!

School starting next month and I have been busy with those details as well. I am convinced the older I get, the busier I get.

A lot has been happening in my family but I am really trusting that God is going to take care of us.

I have definitely been not exactly struggling persay with some insecurities but facing them head on I guess you could say. Really finding out who my friends are and really trying to surrender all of insecurities and everything I am to God. This month marks a year exactly of when I recommitted my life to Jesus. It's a month of celebration and it's awesome looking back. I definitely don't have any desire or temptation to go back to that lifestyle and I thank Jesus for that.

I am looking to God for the next step and direction and know he wont lead me astray. Man I am glad that my joy is dependent on Jesus and not my circumstances. This outlook has really changed my life

Happy Friday!

It's a very good day! My parents left town for a couple weeks so I'm staying at their house watching over things which is a huge blessing for me to get away from my current living situation and kinda just relax.

I am really looking forward to next week. I am a volunteer for Young Champions and I know it's gonna be a great week of impacting young children's lives.

I've been applying for so many jobs because I don't want to wait tables anymore and today I still felt real Joy at my current job because I felt God saying, I'm still going to use you. That felt really good. Some of you know I'm on a new positive outlook on life and I'm trying to implement this in every area of my life. Work is the hardest area so I felt major progress today :)

I just feel very at peace knowing that I'm in the palm of God's hands.

Have a great weekend everyone! :)