I started a new bible study. "A woman's heart, God's Dwelling Place." By Beth Moore. My prayer when I started this new study was that God would open my mind, heart, and eyes to what he wants to teach me through this new study and that my walk with him would strengthen and deepen.
Today's study, titled, Broken Hearts, Broken Ties. Just reading the title I knew right away as I prayed and dug into the word that the Lord was going to definitely speak to me on this one. I feel like this title could almost correlate to a whole chapter in my life of a Broken heart and broken ties. In the introduction to this study, we read in Genesis where God asks Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" I pondered this question. Where am I? But no matter the answer to that question to know that God is pursuing me, he wants to be with me. That's Exciting no matter how many times he reminds me that he is seeking me out.
Today was centered around Exodus 25:1-2,8-9.
The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Tell the Israelites to bring me an offering. You are to receive the offering for me from each man whose heart prompts him to give.
8 "Then have them make a sanctuary for me, and I will dwell among them. 9 Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I will show you.
God's desire is to dwell among us mortals. What an awesome thought. In this passage he instructs Moses to build this tabernacle so that such a holy and awesome God could dwell among the Israelites and meet with them. I don't know about you but wow! I wish I could have been there. I love knowing that God wants to dwell with me, hang out, spend time with me. God has a glorious, incomprehensible desire to meet with us! This tabernacle they were to build was a symbol of a ministry of reconciliation and let's be honest, we live in a world where we are in a huge need of reconciliation. Oh how I know I've been in need of that myself. How awesome that God knew this and was making this happen.
I continued to think where was my tabernacle where I can dwell with the Lord and spend time with him. For me it's church and my bedroom. My bedroom is a very personal space that no one but me goes into. It's a space that I have created to be relaxing, rejuvenating. It's where I spend time with the Lord, where I spend on my knees, a room filled with Joy and tears and some of my deepest moments are spent here. This is where I invite the Lord to come in and dwell with me as I study the word and worship his holy name. I'm so thankful that we have this option to be able to do this in our country.
Beth Moore says, "I believe God appoints our journeys through his Word to correspond with our current life seasons." I couldn't agree more with this statement. A very wise Godly woman had suggested this study for me and it was a great choice.
Just Like Adam and Eve, We sin. We have thorns and this is something I have dealt a lot with the past year. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, Paul talks about his thorns. Sometimes our thorns remain so that we can start to comprehend the sufficiency of God's incredible grace. God just wants to cover us with his garmet of Grace though and I think it's so important that we accept that grace. Oh how sufficient God's grace is and it has got me through some incredibly hard seasons in my life
One of my favorite Worship leaders, Jason Upton has a song called Faith. Here are some of the lyrics and I listen to this song almost every day and it speaks to me every time.
I say NO to the discouragement that keeps me down
I say NO to the things that keep me back from You
And this broken heart inside of me
Broken in so many pieces
By so many circumstances
I say NO to just letting it stay that way
Because I?m learning to trust that it?s not You that hurt me
I'm learning to believe that it?s not You that deserted me
I'm believing that You still love me
Brokenness and all
I'm believing that You?ve got a plan for me
I'm believing that You will restore me
I believe that You will awaken my soul
And let, let faith arise again, I believe
I believe like a little child again
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A wavering heart...
On Sunday after church, My mom and I went out to Brunch to Celebrate Mother's day. I was disappointed my dad had to work and couldn't join us and neither could any of my siblings. However, I feel the Lord orchestrated it like that for a reason. My mom and I had a great time just talking for a few hours. I was talking to her about my life and my walk with the Lord.
I began to talk about how I didn't understand my heart most of the time. In high school, I was such a devout follower of the Lord. I never missed youth group, I was very involved as a leader, going on every trip I could, pouring into the Lives of young people, Assisting my youth pastors as much as I could, planning events, leading prayer group, and etc. I told her how I didn't understand why from after high school up until about 8 months ago, I wavered so much with my walk with the Lord. I feel like I wasted some serious time but also some Big things happened in my life which do strengthen us and make us who we are today.
She began to be motherly and tell me how proud she is of me considering everything I have been through. She got this big smile on her face and told the story of how every morning she got up she would see me on my knees, praying and spending time with the Lord and how happy that made her. She said, Roxanne- You have to get back into a disciplined life of spending time with JESUS first thing everyday because that's the most important thing. I knew right away-SHE IS SO RIGHT. I haven't been as disciplined as I should be. My desire is to be known as a great Woman of God. Just like anything in life, we don't achieve this over night. It takes time and discipline.
I'm really going through a huge season of surrender in my life right now. In every aspect you can imagine. There are so many things that I really need to surrender to the Lord and it's time to give it up to him for good and let him have it. I recently encountered a disappointing situation in my life last week and it hurt my heart very much and in praying and asking why, The Lord whispering just surrender to me.
I was praying today that the Lord would really show me what it means to be dedicated to him and it was amazing because I was reminded of this passage I read in CRAZY LOVE.
I hear a lot of people say that they think Joy is dependent on the flowing of circumstances in our life however I have learned that Joy is a choice just like Dedication. We have to choose to be dedicated, joyful, happy, etc. The bible has taught us that joy is formed in the most difficult seasons of our life which I find to be so incredible true.
CRAZY LOVE says this:
A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with his or her character than comfort.(For so long when I wasn't a devout follower of the Lord, I was so consumed by what made me comfortable in groups of people rather than my character, sad I know). Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God. James 1:2-4
A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his savior in every aspect of his life, continually saying, "Thank you" to God. An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if he is always trying to pay God back or work hard enough to be worthy. He revels in his role as child and friend of God.
WOW! Some might think being obsessed with Jesus is crazy but it's not. Jesus is obsessed with me and fighting for me so I should do the same for him.
Dedication is not easy by any means but this is my prayer and what I'm focusing on this week. Being dedicated to the Lord, being faithful and trusting in him, spending time with him, loving him, reflecting him in my life because I truly don't want to live any other kind of life.
Faith is moving without knowing
Dear lover of my soul,
Would you open up my heart so I can see, hear, and know, and love you more. I want to be your servant and give you all of me. Will you please show me what it is to be dedicated to you oh Jesus. Give me strength and guide me because I cannot do this without you. Open doors where you would have me walk through and shut doors you don't want me to go through. Heal my heart and make me like you oh Lord. I love you and Praise you Jesus for what you have done in my life and what your going to do. Use me Jesus.
Amen
I began to talk about how I didn't understand my heart most of the time. In high school, I was such a devout follower of the Lord. I never missed youth group, I was very involved as a leader, going on every trip I could, pouring into the Lives of young people, Assisting my youth pastors as much as I could, planning events, leading prayer group, and etc. I told her how I didn't understand why from after high school up until about 8 months ago, I wavered so much with my walk with the Lord. I feel like I wasted some serious time but also some Big things happened in my life which do strengthen us and make us who we are today.
She began to be motherly and tell me how proud she is of me considering everything I have been through. She got this big smile on her face and told the story of how every morning she got up she would see me on my knees, praying and spending time with the Lord and how happy that made her. She said, Roxanne- You have to get back into a disciplined life of spending time with JESUS first thing everyday because that's the most important thing. I knew right away-SHE IS SO RIGHT. I haven't been as disciplined as I should be. My desire is to be known as a great Woman of God. Just like anything in life, we don't achieve this over night. It takes time and discipline.
I'm really going through a huge season of surrender in my life right now. In every aspect you can imagine. There are so many things that I really need to surrender to the Lord and it's time to give it up to him for good and let him have it. I recently encountered a disappointing situation in my life last week and it hurt my heart very much and in praying and asking why, The Lord whispering just surrender to me.
I was praying today that the Lord would really show me what it means to be dedicated to him and it was amazing because I was reminded of this passage I read in CRAZY LOVE.
I hear a lot of people say that they think Joy is dependent on the flowing of circumstances in our life however I have learned that Joy is a choice just like Dedication. We have to choose to be dedicated, joyful, happy, etc. The bible has taught us that joy is formed in the most difficult seasons of our life which I find to be so incredible true.
CRAZY LOVE says this:
A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with his or her character than comfort.(For so long when I wasn't a devout follower of the Lord, I was so consumed by what made me comfortable in groups of people rather than my character, sad I know). Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God. James 1:2-4
A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his savior in every aspect of his life, continually saying, "Thank you" to God. An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if he is always trying to pay God back or work hard enough to be worthy. He revels in his role as child and friend of God.
WOW! Some might think being obsessed with Jesus is crazy but it's not. Jesus is obsessed with me and fighting for me so I should do the same for him.
Dedication is not easy by any means but this is my prayer and what I'm focusing on this week. Being dedicated to the Lord, being faithful and trusting in him, spending time with him, loving him, reflecting him in my life because I truly don't want to live any other kind of life.
Faith is moving without knowing
Dear lover of my soul,
Would you open up my heart so I can see, hear, and know, and love you more. I want to be your servant and give you all of me. Will you please show me what it is to be dedicated to you oh Jesus. Give me strength and guide me because I cannot do this without you. Open doors where you would have me walk through and shut doors you don't want me to go through. Heal my heart and make me like you oh Lord. I love you and Praise you Jesus for what you have done in my life and what your going to do. Use me Jesus.
Amen
Monday, May 10, 2010
What Do I know of Holy?
A song that always speaks to my heart every time I hear it. This was my heart today.
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mothers Day
Happy Mothers day to everyone! Today has been such a fantastic day! My mom and I attended church this morning and then I took her out to brunch. It was nice to just sit in the sunshine and enjoy her company. I love my mom. She is always there for me through every season of my life and always has great wisdom to give me.
Ive been going through a very interesting season the past few months and have learned a lot. I think it's great to recognize what distracts me from the Lord, so that I could work on that. He should be my main focus in life. Whats so wonderful is to have so many people who love me, pray for me, and support me. I really experienced that this past week while I ran into some disappointment. What's really amazing to me though is how God's been proving his faithfulness to me and that he is willing to fight for me and that he has one heck of a plan for my life.
While I talked to my mom today at lunch, she proceeded to tell me how proud she is of me and the path that I have chosen in my life. It almost made me tear up. I don't know if you have experienced this but when a parent tells you how proud they are of you, it gives you such a wonderful feeling inside. I have a big decision to make in the next 6 months and I'm looking for big direction from the Lord. It's scary and exciting.
In good news, my dad was laid off about 5 weeks ago but thankfully He got a job and God has been faithful.
I'm just really excited for the future!
Ive been going through a very interesting season the past few months and have learned a lot. I think it's great to recognize what distracts me from the Lord, so that I could work on that. He should be my main focus in life. Whats so wonderful is to have so many people who love me, pray for me, and support me. I really experienced that this past week while I ran into some disappointment. What's really amazing to me though is how God's been proving his faithfulness to me and that he is willing to fight for me and that he has one heck of a plan for my life.
While I talked to my mom today at lunch, she proceeded to tell me how proud she is of me and the path that I have chosen in my life. It almost made me tear up. I don't know if you have experienced this but when a parent tells you how proud they are of you, it gives you such a wonderful feeling inside. I have a big decision to make in the next 6 months and I'm looking for big direction from the Lord. It's scary and exciting.
In good news, my dad was laid off about 5 weeks ago but thankfully He got a job and God has been faithful.
I'm just really excited for the future!
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